Saturday, January 28, 2006

I could live a little better with the myths and the lies

I know that there is this Danish poet who says that a year has 14 months; January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, November, November and December, but I think I might be inclined to differ and say that a year has 22 months and ten of them are January. This month really seems to go on forever or is it just me? It might be the snow (and I feel like such a traitor for saying that), but this week in particular has just seemed never-ending. I've slept most of the time and when I've eaten, it's been nothing but carbs. I've been so tired that I've been procrastinating on going to buy food and then not eating, thus becoming more tired and procrastinating more and what have you. One day, I had rice, lentils and ketchup, probably the most depressing meal in the history of mankind. I don't even like ketchup.
And today, I fell asleep on the sofa when I got home from work and when I woke up at 10PM, I couldn't be arsed to cook so my dinner consists of popcorn and soy milk cocoa. Mmmm, soy milk cocoa. It's funny how you can take something like soy milk, which essentially tastes like liquid flour, and cocoa powder, which is just hella-bitter, mix it together, add sugar and then you'll wind up with what is arguably one of the best non-alcoholic drinks there are.

Also, I know I promised no yarn talk, but can I just say that The Knitting Olympics has now got more than 1800 contestants? 1800! I mean, how crazy is that? Moreover, Jenifleur over at JenLa has made a lot of buttons for the various teams and the un-factual ones are really funny. I almost want to be Irish, just to be able to use the button that says "Drink first, then knit". However, she's also been kind enough to make a button for the Danish team, which, to the best of my knowledge (although I haven't checked out all 1800 listed blogs, sorry), consists of me. Our button is mostly funny because it just screams "What the f*** do they have? Any clichés on Danes? Anyone? F***.... Oh, Danishes!". I couldn't figure out anything better myself, mind you. Maybe, in the light of Danish politics, it should say "We don't like you". Anyway, you can see them all here. They also have a lovely Simpsons-button for those of you who like to watch (winkwink, nudge-nudge).
In addition to the JenLa-teams, there's Team Wales, where you can join if you just think they have a cool flag or know where Wales is, a Team Caffeine that I should join as well and a team for goths who knit with eyeliner (both at, erm, Beadslut). The whole thing is crazy, I tell you!

What's not exactly crazy, more just plain weird, is this phone number that keeps popping up on my phone. A couple of weeks ago, someone called me at 4 in the morning and said "Hello?" into the phone to which I sleepily replied "Hello. Hello? HELLO?!" and then hung up. Then, the next day when I tried to call back (when people I don't know call me at 4 in the f***ing morning, I'd like an explanation) I was told that the number doesn't exist. And then today, I received a text from the same number that simply says "##kÄXÝï²:G@□" and when I want to shut down the message, my phone tells me that the sender would like a reply (what the hell would I say to that?) and would I like to answer now (didn't know that you could ask for answers, by the way. Could come in handy sometimes)? It's all very weird, it feels slightly like an episode of Lost!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Make a cup of tea, put a record on

I wrote a really long post about the upcoming Winter Olympics and about how one of my friwnds said that curling seems like a couple of guys sat down, smoked a lot (a lot!) of pot and thought out this joke-game where, like, dude, these people with, like, brooms and stones - "Heh, stones.... Funny..." - come out and, like, they have to sweep the way for the stones? On ice, yeah? And instead of just forgetting along with the deep and meaningful conversation about having a Snickers in your purse, that joke just went way, way too far?
However, I just thought that all the talk about winter sports was getting in the way of what I really wanted to say.

The Yarn Harlot had an idea a couple of days ago. Seeing as the Winter Olympics are coming up, she thought she'd take the Olympic motto of "Faster, Higher, Stronger" and use it to create a Knitting Olympics. You can see the rules here, but essentially they're just that you have to choose a knitting project that will somehow be a challenge to you and your knitting experience. Then, you have to cast on when the Olympic flame is lit on the 10th of February and finish before the flame goes out on the 26th. If you finish, you get a medal. If you don't, you get shame.
At first, I liked the idea and kinda wanted to join, but it just seemed so... well, geeky. However, when she a day later, after questions about whether or not there would be drug testing, decided to have a drug policy that was simply "you should be careful to make sure you are consuming enough drugs", I decided that this sounded like my kind of game. Also, seeing the list of athletes that is now about five miles long and ever growing, I thought that at least I wasn't the only geek out there. And it could be worse, I could be a Trekkie.
I decided that my project should be Sivia Harding's Diamond Fantasy Shawl (I like this picture better (via January One) and I've bought some super, super soft alpaca in a sort of aubergine-y colour for it.
So. Root for me, send more chocolate and cheer me up when I start telling myself that I'm a big loser who'll never get done on time - I'm the best chance Denmark has of getting a medal during the Olympics (no, the fat curling chicks aren't really that good).

And seeing as the KO will most likely incite a lot of knitting posts, I promise - apart from some pictures of my cardigan which is nearly done now - that I'll keep the yarn talk to a minimum until then.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Charlie don't surf!

Just went through a tiny shopping frenzy and bought Stitch 'n Bitch and Stitch 'n Bitch Nation from Amazon. Apparently the first is out in Danish now as well, but I just think that Kvinde med Pinde is such a f***ing stupid title! I can't be the only one thinking chicks with sticks/dicks. Also, the Danish version would set me back as much as both of the English books, so it was really no contest.

I also bought the Editors-album and I Am A Bird Now by Anthony and The Johnsons. A friend of mine has had The Back Room for a while and I know I like that one, but Anthony and The Johnsons is a bit more of a gamble. It might be too sissy, who knows...
Tomorrow I'll see if I can find Chords and Dirty Limericks by Death to Frank Ziyanak. I haven't really heard anything but Fe Fi Mo Fo, but I just think it's really catchy (or catty, considering the singer's "Rrrauw!"). Has anyone heard the rest of the album? Jens Unmack likes them, so I'm thinking it can't be all bad. You can see the video for Fe Fi Mo Fo here.

I've heard that you're not supposed to include more than one subject in one blogpost, but hey... there are so many things you're not supposed to do - call me a rebel with a rather feeble cause! I stayed up all night for no particular reason and knitted the left front of my Arisaig cardigan, so now all I need to do is make the sleeves and the ribbons. I'm not sure I should post pictures before I block the sweater, because it makes the lace look wonky and also, the whole thing looks about 5 sizes too small and I don't think it is, really (though that might be hubris), but I started it on the evening of the 28th of December and I'm just really chuffed with myself for having all of this done so quickly. So here goes. I really need a digi-cam.

Anyway, as you may or may not have noticed, DR2 has a Marlon Brando-thing going right now. They've shown The Godfather, which I missed because I was drinking depressing Cosmopolitans, this Friday Apocalypse Now Redux was on and in half an hour, it's A Streetcar Named Desire. So I'll just go and see if I can make it to Irma for some dinner before that. See y'all later.
By the way... Apocalypse Now... it's about girls, right?

Friday, January 06, 2006

Put it away

Favourite quote of 2006 so far:
"HOLY HOT FARGIN DAMN- ITS GOT A SCROTUM ON THE ZIPPER" from the comments to this post. I have the sense of humour of a 15-year-old boy, I'm sorry.