Friday, August 19, 2005

An Ohwellian Nightmare

Having done little else than shouting at girls from their rickshaws and drinking pints in the "authentic" English pubs here, the ugly, English football fans (bit of a pleonasm, "ugly football fans". Is there any other kind?) have left Copenhagen, probably feeling slightly disappointed. I got the "You can be damned sure that everyone on a bike is a local" in passing from one of them. So strange, I'll never get used to tourists being utterly bemused at the amount of bicycles in Denmark. Once, as I was getting off my bike at RĂ„dhuspladsen, an American guy smiled at me and said "You do very well, riding a bike in a dress". What does that mean? Is it a compliment? Did he just see my underwear? What? To me, that's a bit like saying that "you're doing very well, eating soup with a spoon" - what else would you do, really? Strange...
I had another nice Copenhagen-moment when I went to Tivoli with a friend this Monday. The whole concept should be tacky, but there's something about the lights in there at night and about seeing your city from the Balloon Ferris Wheel that is just so beautiful, you have to love it.

Not quite so beautiful, is the revolting spider which right now lounging on the outer pane of my bedroom window. I don't think I've ever seen a spider that huge outside a zoo. It's the size of the outer joint of my thumb, without legs that is, has nasty stripes and is obviously total devil spawn as right now, it has a ladybird in its web. Not only do every girl know that ladybirds are the cute bugs, I also seem to recall from a biology lesson where I accidentally paid attention that they taste hellavile and the whole red-black thing is a warning about this. So, this is a huge spider, who'll eat just about anything. Evil, I tell you. Evil.
And it's not like I can't usually manage. I can take care of myself, I can use a hammer without sustaining any injuries, I can even open my own pickle jars and I can usually kill the bugs that make it inside the walls of my home. But that spider is pure evil. I need a man.