The Quiet Fights
to be played at maximum volume
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Saturday, April 23, 2005
My favourite parks are car parks
Just came back from the first night at my new job or whatever you choose to call it; I work in a car park in central Copenhagen and, previously, the people working there had to sit in a little glass cage and have people pay for their parking tickets, but over the last couple of months, the system has changed so now you get your ticket from a machine and pay for it in another machine. So, basically, my job is to sit in a little glass cage, spin my chair a lot and have endless amounts of conversations going;
Q: "Do I have to pay for my ticket?"
Q: "Should I pay you for my ticket?"
A: "No, you have to pay for it over there where the line of people is"
Q: "You've changed the system, haven't you?"
Q: "It's very expensive, isn't it?"
A: "...." [secretly thinking: "Well, if you can afford a Porsche Cayenne, you can bloody well afford the parking as well! Anyway, there are signs telling you what it costs, so it's a bit late to complain now!"]
Q: "There's a red light out front and it says there are no vacancies - does that mean I can't park here?"
A: "Well, sort of... Yeah!" [again, secretly thinking: "Nah, the red light means that we're a brothel, the white P on the blue background is short for "Prostitutes" and in a minute or so, I'll pull up my navy blue pullover and flash you so you'll have something to look at while waiting for a girl to be free - because the 'no vacancies'-sign means no vacancies"]
And it just goes on and on like this! Obviously, if people weren't asking questions there'd be no need for me to be there, but seriously; you put in your ticket, you pay, you leave - it's not exactly rocket f***ing science, is it? Are they honestly sure that they should be driving if they are too stupid/illiterate to pay for their parking?
But, customers aside, it's obviously a nice job, as I can spend most of my time reading magazines... Oh well, pretty damn tired now.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
They're sterotypes, there must be more to life
I don’t know if you’ve noticed this (and I don't why I have either), but why is it that as far as clichés of hot people go, guys have a lot fewer to work with than women? I was trying to make two separate lists with a friend today (were we bored, I hear you ask? And, no, not really). Our results so far are as follows and in no particular order:
Sailors – The state employed ones in white outfits being hotter than the ones who work on, say, oil tankers (and on a side note; even if you’re not checking out the other silly pictures in this post, this picture is by Pierre et Gilles, who are the closest thing I have to favourite photographers, so check them out).
Pilots – Obviously, there’s more pull in flying a Stealth than a 747, and the same applies for pilots in for example British Airways v. pilots for Ryan Air.
Doctors – I’m not, personally, to keen on this group of professionals; I mean, all due respect to doctors, but are there any areas of their field which isn’t a bit, well, gross? Examples: Surgeons deal with a lot of blood and cutting people up, dermatologists equal loads of eczema and warts and gynaecologists and coroners are both out of the race for obvious reasons. Paediatricians might be an exception, because of the whole good-with-kids-deal, but that only works if you don’t mind kids and I do, so… Speaking their cause is the whole “save me”-thing, though.
Police officers – This is a bit tricky, because while the police might be a cliché of hotness, the Danish cliché is also that they have moustaches and are from Herning, which is definitely a downside.
Workmen – Again, there are degrees; in terms of hot, it’s evidently better to be a carpenter than a plumber. Personally, though, I’ve never been too keen on guys with tool belts and calluses in their hands. Yellow helmets ain’t helping either.
Milkmen - the minus in their book being that they don't really exist anymore.
Football players – don’t ask me, I don’t get it.
In both columns, we should probably put teachers, but like policemen, it’s not problem-free as there is also the chalk-dusty, scruffy, cheese-smelling teacher cliché in the picture.
We must have left a lot out, so please make additions. Also, there’s clearly room for personal favourites generally unappreciated by the ignorant masses – one of mine is the diving guys at the Olympics!
However, the score so far is 11-5 in our (girls, that is) favour. How come? Is it because you generally spend more time thinking about real people and we think in stereotypes? Should we include nuns? Suggestions below.
Monday, April 11, 2005
< you try finding a tagline incorporating ducks >
Well, I realize that this is in Danish, but still.... they're stealing our ducks!
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Heroes in a half shell
What the hell is going in this picture?
It looks like Thomas Graversen is trying to strangle the guy - that, or he's trying to bugger him (with a fishfork, maybe). Either way, why is they guy (I'm sure he has a name, but you know - who gives a shit? Yeah, football fans, but again, who gives a shit?) laughing? It's very strange...
Oh yeah, and a little note to the woman I just saw on the street - if you're wearing a head scarf and matching said scarf with your green trousers, you might want to wear something else than a brown coat. Because, seriously - you look like a turtle.
Monday, April 04, 2005
What kind of A-Z would get you here?
Just on my way to bed after a weekend where, again, I have done nothing of things I should have done, but still had a fairly nice time, especially due to the lovely weather - the thermomter on my balcony showed 30 centigrade at one point, very nice!
Also, my roommate from my 'efterskole' came to visit this Friday and we went to a really (and I mean really) scruffy pub down the corner from where I live. It's a bit on the dodgy side, with brown walls, a smell of naphthalene and a clientele consisting of winos and BK Frem-fans. However, the beer is dirt cheap and it has a jukebox with London Calling (the song, not the album) by The Clash on it, so who am I to complain? Also, when we were there, we were joined by an old guy named (of all things) Bertil, who started telling stories about when he was a mercenary in the Congo! Crazy shit, I tell you.. It could've been April Fool's, but, well, it wasn't that funny and I think most people would have a hard time making up a decent prank after 18 FF'ere.
And, in the midst of our hangovers yesterday, my roommate and I got talking; Monday you have Manic Monday by The Bangles and I Don't Like Mondays by The Boomtown Rats. Friday, there's The Cure with Friday I'm in Love. On Saturday, you could listen to Saturday Night by Suede (or Whigfield if you're a masochist). And last, on Sunday, there's Sonic Youth and Sunday and U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday (again, if you're masochist or just have really shitty taste). But what about Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thurdays? Any ideas?
Crikey, I have a headache from Hell, better f*** off to bed now.