I’m pushing my Roskilde review a little while longer as I am still cranky.
I was watching telly earlier this evening (like every evening) and on was this show about Americans (obviously) who refuse to have sex until marriage. Now, usually I’m pretty much for whatever gets you going, but when it comes to not getting going at all, I’m a bit more sceptical. Especially since preaching of abstinence usually goes hand in hand with less sex education in schools and more teenage pregnancies and STD’s as a result.
Of course, it’s your own choice and all, I just think it’s freaky getting married to someone you haven’t seen in less than shorts and a T-shirt. “Before you buy the car, you take it for a test drive” as Samantha said.
Anyway, the guys in the show went on and on about how it was disrespectful to women to look at them “in a lustful way” and how it was wrong to have anything naked on your mind while you were masturbating because then women were only sexual objects to you and yadayadayada.
The woman host then went on to talk to a couple of fiancés who were both virgins (at 27). Well, actually; he was a virgin and she was a born-again virgin (or secondary virgin as she called it), an even dumber concept. They were discussing which kinds of sex they could have when they eventually got the rings and they both said that oral sex was wrong because it was “masturbating with a woman’s face” (because, as we all know, oral sex can only go one way, right?) and then went on to say that premarital sex was just “masturbating with a woman”. Now, it’s nice that they have such good intentions about not seeing women as sex objects only, but am I the only one who finds it a tad more disrespectful to see women as masturbation devices?
They’re moving in slightly the same lines as anti-porn activists here, I think (most likely, they are anti-porn, too). When these people talk their case, it’s usually something about how porn (and, above, sex in general) is oppressive to women and how women in the porn industry are being used and never in a million years could these women actually know what’s best for them.
I don’t know about you, but I find it pretty sad that after f*** knows how many years where women has been seen as being unable to take care of themselves and think for themselves, feminism comes along to change that and then just ends up looking at women in exactly the same way; as people that need saving and protecting, instead of being people who are perfectly able to save themselves. I know that not all feminists think like this, but I think it is the idea most people have of what feminism is about. Please do correct me if I’m wrong.
Anyway, go here for a less confused version of what I am trying to say. It’s focusing a bit too hard on the whole class thing, but it's still pretty good. Favourite quote is: “Feminists, past and present, may do well to remember that when Margaret Thatcher, John Major, Neil Kinnock and Tony Blair are on your side, you've got serious problems.”
Oh, and by the way, do you know when you’re discussing something with someone and it goes on for a while and then, even though they obviously still don’t think you’re right, the other person just ends up caving in just to make you shut the f*** up? I hate that. Completely takes out the joy of being right.