Sunday, June 20, 2004

100

I'm working my way through the blogging cliches, one by one.

1. I feel a bit like Renton in Trainspotting-sequel Porno; I couldn’t care less about the winners of football-matches, but I like when Manchester United and Brøndby lose.

2. And I cannot watch an entire match without becoming excruciatingly restless.

3. I think football-shirts on girls should take lust’s place as one of the 7 deadly sins.

4. Shorts are a privilege you earn when you join the ranks of civilised people and start shaving your legs.

5. I don’t like boy children…

6. … Or girl children if there are a lot of them.

7. I don’t like bands from Danish city Aarhus.

8. And I have a particularly hard time taking the dialect of that city seriously

9. I’m fascinated by moustaches because it’s one of the few things that look equally good on men and women.

10. I don’t like Mars bars.

11. Or peanuts.

12. But I like Snickers.

13. I can throw a brick exactly far enough to not have it hit my own feet.

14. I often wonder where my ability to sleep anywhere went.

15. Especially at festivals.

16. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 16.

17. And, no, I don’t eat fish.

18. Or chicken.

19. Or Bassett’s wine gums.

20. But I do wear leather shoes.

21. I’m sometimes afraid that I’ve listened far too much to music and lyrics written by men.

22. And not learned a thing because they are no less strange now than when I was 10.

23. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing.

24. My favourite painkiller-brand is called Syndol and sadly you can’t buy them in Denmark.

25. I’m not afraid of heights, but jumping down from things scares the living daylights out of me.

26. I’m disappointed every time I see a shoe that at first glance looks really nice, but at a closer look has a heel made of wood, plastic or, even worse, metal.

27. And I am convinced that the kitten heel is the devil spawn of a meeting between the shoe industry and cobblers.

28. Men come and go – Chanel slingbacks are forever.

29. Now all I need is to be able to afford a pair.

30. I think Bottom is funnier than Young Ones, but for some reason it’s Young Ones that I have on video.

31. That Friends has had its last season is so about time!

32. I wish TV would stop advertising for medicine against foot fungus.

33. I also wish that I was better at being cold in French.

34. Can you say that in English? It’s when you go outside in minus 5 centigrade wearing a dress and stockings and no-one can tell that you’re actually freezing your arse off.

35. I’m slightly worried when I meet former friends and they’ve decided to become witches and to go see English druids.

36. It’s not that they’re not nice persons and all, I just don’t get them.

37. I don’t get religion in general.

38. I’m really annoyed that I can’t understand what Serge Gainsbourg sings in Je T’aime, Moi Non Plus because it doesn’t really seem to be a song with too complicated a message?

39. I wish I had a middle name, but I can’t think of anything good.

40. Sometimes I think that the only thing standing between me and a future as a cat lady, who wears her housecoat outside, is the fact that I don’t have a cat.

41. So I’m pretty afraid to get one.

42. I’m just afraid of dogs, period.

43. However, if I did get a cat, I would call it Krupskaya and thus be naming it after Lenin’s wife.

44. If you ask me, sheep and ducks are the funniest animals in the world.

45. And maybe penguins.

46. I have a brother and a sister.

47. Both are younger than me.

48. I think that because I’m the older one, I should get special privileges, but mostly, people laugh at this assumption.

49. My brother finds it particularly funny and thinks this is okay, just because he is much bigger than me.

50. I’m not too good at keeping my surroundings tidy.

51. And I’m even worse at looking for things, even when I’ve cleaned up my room.

52. My favourite quote is “If I can’t dance, it’s not my revolution”.

53. Although Emma Goldman apparently hasn’t said it all.

54. In this case, it doesn’t matter that I’m terrible dancer, it’s just important to know that I wanted to, I could.

55. When I get old, I want to have my hair long.

56. And do it up in a chignon, ‘f course.

57. When I get that old, maybe I’ll have a driver’s license too.

58. But this is purely theoretical.

59. I was born on the 27th of July 1982.

60. Here, this day is in the middle of the hottest days of the year, but on a ten year average, it’s the coldest of these days.

61. I don’t think it’s my fault, but you never really know, do you?

62. I find it very sad that you can no longer buy Pernille-chocolate in Danish shops.

63. I don’t miss the dark version called Senator, though, that was just gross.

64. I was a really pretty baby.

65. Not that it’s helping me now.

66. I was born with black hair, then turned blonde, then a darker blonde and right now I’m pretty ginger.

67. The ginger is dyed, though.

68. My eyes, too, have a variety of colours.

69. A bit like David Bowie has it, but with the brown and blue mixed together in the both eyes. The same, but different.

70. I swear too much.

71. Or maybe I just have too much to swear at. I haven’t quite decided yet.

72. I like knitting, but I have yet to make anything I actually want to wear.

73. I’m good at baking, especially cakes.

74. Some people would also say that I was good at cooking.

75. And people who don’t like vegetables or garlic would very much beg to differ.

76. I’m allergic to some kinds of perfume. Not all kinds; e.g. I’m fine with CKbe, but CKone makes me itch.

77. I just don’t want to wear CKbe.

78. I like gadgets.

79. But I very rarely buy any.

80. I don’t think I buy that many things, really, but my money tend to disappear into thin air anyway.

81. My parents took me to my first concert when I was three.

82. I seem to remember that the band had a toilet on stage.

83. But then I also claim that we had dandelions growing on our bathroom floor, something my mother denies.

84. My favourite toys were a wooden train and my Lego.

85. I wasn’t allowed to have Barbie dolls until I was 5; my mother thought it was a woman oppressing toy.

86. She was right, but don’t tell her that.

87. For a long time I wasn’t allowed sugar either. Damned hippy parents.

88. The first book I read by myself was Ronia, the Robber’s Daughter. I wanted to be her from I was 7 till I was 10.

89. The first record I bought with my own money was No Need to Argue by The Cranberries.

90. If it’s okay to compare books and records, I still think Ronia is a lot better.

91. I fell asleep clutching a teddy bear for so long that I have a very hard time sleeping without holding my duvet.

92. As a consequence, I always wake up with cold, cold arms.

93. My favourite spectator sport is figure skating.

94. Mostly because the commentators always speak with a lisp. It’s funny.

95. I like white flowers.

96. And succulents.

97. But I don’t like red roses. They’re tacky and overexposed.

98. Don’t trust people who say that smoking isn’t cool. It is.

99. It also gives you wrinkles, though, so I quit.

100. I never thought I’d get here. But yay me.